I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
