Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
