so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
