I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
