I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
