I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
