Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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