What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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