Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
where does the pee come out of this thing
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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