I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
