I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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