please come you make the beer taste better
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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