Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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