4 words: hood of his car
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
smell my finger.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
