Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
