he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
