At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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