Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
