I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
