I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He? As in you personified your dick?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize