I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
