Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
