How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
