Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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