You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
