I am puke
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
