Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
