Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
