WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
