Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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