brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
