If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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