I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize