Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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