i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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