My pussy is not your playground.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
