Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
