Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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