i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
