Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
