This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize