That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
