Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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