oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
