You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
