how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
