do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
