You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
