why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
