oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she peed on how many people?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
