if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
