If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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