Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
