He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
