I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
