but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
