I just saw a hot homeless man
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
