belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
