I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
