My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
