I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
