That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
