she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
