Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
